Thursday, August 27, 2015

The Struggles Of The Codependent Love Addicts

By Shawn Hunter


Folks who struggle with codependency have many problems coping in various situations in life. Codependent love addicts will go through a range of issues that make relationships difficult and not all that healthy. This can be resolved by going to a good therapist, but not everyone goes through this process and they have to continue with these problems.

Someone who is codependent will struggle with control, and this involves controlling others in a relationships as well as being controlled by others. This can make one comfortable having that sense of responsibility. However, one also begins to be resentful and blame comes into play because of the boundaries that they have trouble controlling.

People who are love addicts will have a low self-esteem. They will struggle with certain areas in life, such as with the fear of intimacy as well as the fear of rejection. Most of these people have been neglected and abandoned in the past and this will play on their mind. They will be in relationships that are unhealthy, stressing whether their partner is going to leave.

When they are not with someone, they will go into withdrawal mode. They become lonely and depressed. There are people who are more severely affected than others and they will battle with that empty feeling a lot of the time. They may even feel suicidal at time because of this addiction that they face. When they are in a relationship, they feel as though they are on a high. If they don't have this, they may want to be comforted with drugs or food.

A lot of time is spent on these relationships, thinking obsessively about the partner or about future relationships. One will often do everything for the partner and it is never an equal based relationship which is not healthy. This kind of person needs to be taken care of, but it is very often unrealistic. Of course, this goes back to the childhood when parents or caregivers were not interested in the children and this made them feel unloved. This is the price theat they have to pay.

Someone who is a love addict as well will try and blend in, but that fear will always be there. They will be afraid of the intimacy, but will also fear abandonment. Below they will be struggling, but this does not show on the outside. They appear to be just like anyone else and able to function like any other human being. This is more like an obsessive compulsive sort of behaviour.

In extreme case, during the withdrawal mode, one begins to feel depressed, hopeless and sometimes suicidal. This is where one is triggered by childhood memories. This brings up feelings of rejection and neglect. Often, one turns to food or some other form of substance to help relieve the pain. Of course, some love addicts are affected more than others.

A love addict will battle with self care as they focus more and more on obsessive thoughts of fantasizing and various relationships. In severe cases, they will continue to return to previous relationships and become abusive. The will probably only see things in their partner in a negative light. Their behavior will become offensive and obscure.




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